If you were given the opportunity for a “do-over” – that is, the chance to go back in time and make different decisions, different choices, and thereby change your life and the person you have become – would you accept it?
This is not an uncommon question – I’ve heard it discussed before, in person and in print, and at least one well-known movie was even based on the premise. And most of the people I run across, when confronted with this question, reply with an immediate and emphatic, “No.”
Me? I’m not so sure.
I have a bit of a tendency to wallow in regrets. In my less positive moments, this translates into a frustrated, “I wish I could go back and start all over again and do it right this time.”
So what would I do right, given the second chance?
- I would take better care of myself.
- I wouldn’t worry so much about what people thought of me.
- I would travel more.
- I wouldn’t be afraid to take chances.
- I would manage my money better.
- I would love myself more.
- I would get a degree.
- I would play the piano more.
- I would waste less time.
- I would listen to my heart first, and advice from others second.
- I would write more.
- I would share more.
- I would create more.
Of course, the idea of a “do-over” is nothing more than a fantasy, something on which to dwell when I’m feeling sorry for myself or am swamped with mid-life regrets. And dwelling in regrets is a non-productive, vicious circle that I work hard to overcome, because I have learned that the more time I waste on regrets today, the more I’ll be wishing down the road that I could have had that time back.
The past is what it is. But today’s thoughts, today’s actions, today’s choices – those are what will form and mold my life to come, those I have the power to affect, those are what will determine what I see when I look back from the future.
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
~ Maria Robinson
And that’s how I try to see it.
How about you? Would you want a do-over?
Please share!
(Updated from original post in February, 2012.)
Twitter: valjnewman
June 18, 2014
My, “if I could do it over, I would. . . .” list would look very similar to yours. I agree you can only go forward. But it is the past experiences of not doing those things you wish you had, that teach us the most.
Val
Twitter: alphabetsalad
June 22, 2014
Very true, Val. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. 🙂
Laurel Regan recently posted… Today’s Gratitude List – Linkup No. 35
Twitter: 1951
June 18, 2014
I’m happy with the way my life turned out, the good/bad/ugly–all if it. It’s been so interesting! In effect, I got a do-over when my husband and I remarried after being divorced 26 years. So this is my do-over with that marriage and it is SWEET!
Carol Cassara recently posted… Intolerance isn’t always a bad thing
Twitter: alphabetsalad
June 22, 2014
I love that, Carol!
Laurel Regan recently posted… Today’s Gratitude List – Linkup No. 35
Nope! Not a thing❤️
Twitter: alphabetsalad
June 22, 2014
Excellent. 🙂
Laurel Regan recently posted… Today’s Gratitude List – Linkup No. 35
Twitter: BatteredHope
June 18, 2014
A million loud YES’ in a nano second. Before I titled my memoir Battered Hope, most of the titles were names like “Second Chance” or “Terrible Choices.” Regarding your list, most of those are a ‘given’ and I believe we all would agree with them. But two or three of the choices I made in life set me on a downward spiral from which I will never recover. However, I do not dwell there or in the sea of self-pity. Instead, I have made the best of some very bad situations and have learned much, helped many and became wiser and stronger than I would even have been if life had not taken those turns. Great post and I am thrilled to hear that so many people would say “No” I think that is wonderful.
Carol Graham recently posted… Never Give Up Hope – Guest Post
Twitter: alphabetsalad
June 22, 2014
Glad I’m not the only one who would take a do-over, Carol! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Laurel Regan recently posted… Today’s Gratitude List – Linkup No. 35
Twitter: joantruesuccess
June 18, 2014
Nice post Laurel! Tons of value here girl!! Thank you for always sharing such awesome content 🙂
Joan Harrington recently posted… How To Create Your Online Brand In 10 Steps
Twitter: alphabetsalad
June 22, 2014
Thanks so much, Joan. 🙂
Laurel Regan recently posted… Today’s Gratitude List – Linkup No. 35
I don’t think I would be ready for a ‘do-over’. It robs of an enigma and uncertainties attached to life.
Kalpana Solsi recently posted… nights of summer: haiku
Twitter: alphabetsalad
June 22, 2014
True enough. 🙂
Laurel Regan recently posted… Today’s Gratitude List – Linkup No. 35
Twitter: rm29303
June 18, 2014
I would! I would pick the same husband and children for sure but like you I wish I had made some better choices with money, my education and definitely my health. My biggest regret is that I wish I had spent more time with the people that I have lost suddenly. My father at 15, my grandmother etc.
Rena McDaniel-The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver recently posted… MEET THE REAL EXPERT-HIS TOP 5 CAREGIVER TIPS
Twitter: alphabetsalad
June 22, 2014
Yes, it would be nice if we could pick and choose which parts of our lives to keep and which to do over!
Laurel Regan recently posted… Today’s Gratitude List – Linkup No. 35
Twitter: SweetMelissaFla
June 18, 2014
I agree with the adage you can’t rewrite the beginning but you can influence the ending. Our experiences; good, bad and in between,are what makes us unique.
Melissa Senecal recently posted… The Medallion
Twitter: alphabetsalad
June 22, 2014
Very true, Melissa!
Laurel Regan recently posted… Today’s Gratitude List – Linkup No. 35
Twitter: MistyDSpears
June 18, 2014
I probably fall in the category of no do-overs. I love my life and every outcome that has come of it. Sure, I’ve made mistakes and definitely regretted a few things, but all of those mistakes made me who I am today. The only thing I feel like I would change, might be to take better care of myself instead of focusing on work and family so much that I lost and forgot myself. It’s much harder to correct a bad situation than it is to just continue on a good path. But hey…even that isn’t so bad if you have the will.
Misty Spears recently posted… Kindle Book Publishing Project Update #3 – Fleshing Out that Content!
Twitter: alphabetsalad
June 22, 2014
It’s an interesting thought to ponder, isn’t it? Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Laurel Regan recently posted… Today’s Gratitude List – Linkup No. 35
Twitter: Sophie_Bowns
June 18, 2014
Gosh, mine would be similar to yours!
Twitter: alphabetsalad
June 22, 2014
I’m glad I’m not alone!
Laurel Regan recently posted… Today’s Gratitude List – Linkup No. 35
No do overs for me. I think I stumbled along in my current life pretty well and might do a worse job with a do over. I still rather enjoy thinking about what I would have done different with a do over. Although I always seem to go right to this one decision I made in junior high school . I really wish that instead of deciding to play tennis as my one sport, I had instead gone out for all the sports teams as their season’s came along (softball, basketball, volleyball). The other sports were more teamwork oriented than tennis and I think team sports might have brought me out of my shell a little sooner. I also just loved sports and would have enjoyed playing all sorts of different ones.
Twitter: alphabetsalad
June 22, 2014
It really in an interesting thought to ponder! Thanks for sharing.
Laurel Regan recently posted… Today’s Gratitude List – Linkup No. 35
I think I would be really tempted to go for the do overs and do things differently. I would really have to think about it.
Kathy Combs recently posted… Daddy Knows Best
Twitter: alphabetsalad
June 22, 2014
Glad I’m not the only one!
Laurel Regan recently posted… Today’s Gratitude List – Linkup No. 35
If I could go back and change my “worrying”, I would in a second. 99% of the things I’ve worried about in my life never happened, and I wasted so much time and energy. I’m more conscious of it now, and try to put worry out of my mind and enjoy the moment. What a great post – thanks for the reminder to start each day anew.
Lana recently posted… A Summer Style Challenge Struggle
Twitter: alphabetsalad
June 22, 2014
You’re welcome, Lana! 🙂
Laurel Regan recently posted… Today’s Gratitude List – Linkup No. 35
Now that’s something to ponder about….well, I would probably have made more decisions out of rationality than impulse. I guess, that would have sorted a lot of things for me.
Anyhow, its great just to be able to think that way, though. Thanks!
Kajal recently posted… Alive In My Memories
Twitter: alphabetsalad
June 22, 2014
It’s interesting to ponder the option!
Laurel Regan recently posted… Today’s Gratitude List – Linkup No. 35
In a split second, I sure would want a do-over. My list looks very close to yours in that I would take better care of myself, both physically and mentally. I wouldn’t let people push me and tell me how I should act. I’d definitely manage my money better and travel more. Oh, well. *sigh*
Twitter: alphabetsalad
June 22, 2014
It would be nice if we were given the choice. 🙂
Laurel Regan recently posted… Today’s Gratitude List – Linkup No. 35
The one thing I would like to do-over is my misunderstanding with one of my closest friends.. we aren’t close anymore and I miss him..
Twitter: alphabetsalad
June 22, 2014
Sad – I understand that.
Laurel Regan recently posted… Today’s Gratitude List – Linkup No. 35
I haven’t wanted a do-over frequently, but on the few occasions I did, I opted to apologize instead (if I’d wronged someone) or make a different/better/more fitting choice in a situation or with a person in my life.
When I was a teen, I learned that having regrets and grudges was unhealthy long term, so I have since not believed in having regrets. The few times I’ve held onto a regret I know it’s been about my expectations and once I readjusted my perspective, accepted it, and let it go, things were better. 🙂
Life Breath Present recently posted… Breathing Room
Twitter: alphabetsalad
June 22, 2014
Very wise advice! Thank you. 🙂
Laurel Regan recently posted… Today’s Gratitude List – Linkup No. 35
I wouldn’t want to go back but would try and make my present better by making saner decisions, lovely write up.
Twitter: alphabetsalad
June 22, 2014
Thank you. 🙂
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