A mulling cauldron of thoughts and emotions began to bubble and boil the moment I read the headline:
Voices of the Year Submissions for BlogHer ’14 Are Open! PLUS: Introducing Photo of the Year!
I thought back to my previous experiences hearing the readers at the Voices of the Year (VOTY) Community Keynote, both the first time at BlogHer ’12 and then again the following year at BlogHer ’13. I remembered leaving with a profound sense of empowerment and community, both moved and inspired, grateful to be even a tiny cog in the wheel of the blogosphere.
Now, seeing that headline and wondering who would be among the VOTY group at BlogHer ’14, a niggling little thought started annoying my brain with its persistence.
Maybe I could submit something?
At first the idea was laughable. Me? Seriously, how much ego and audacity would it take to presume that anything I wrote could ever be considered a candidate for VOTY? I mean, really!
Then the idea was terrifying. OK, so what if, hypothetically, I did decide to submit, but no one voted for me? Wouldn’t that prove that my writing was no good? Or, what if a couple of people voted for me, but I wasn’t among the winners? OR – and this was perhaps the most terrifying thought of all – what if, by some stretch of the imagination, I DID win?
Then it all started to make me mad… because in some ways, it felt like a lose-lose proposition. If I didn’t submit something, I’d be angry at myself for not even trying. If I did submit something but didn’t win anything, I’d feel like a failure. And if I submitted something and, by some wild stretch of the imagination, DID end up being among the 100 or so VOTY winners, I’d have to deal with a whole range of issues, from success to attention to expectations to judgment and everything in between.
Finally, knowing that I had to get out of my head and back into the real world, I asked Peter if he would listen as I talked through my internal struggle. He would, and did, and offered me some great advice about risk-taking and regrets… and I made a decision.
I would give it a shot.
I went back through the posts I’d written over the past year, and ended up submitting two pieces for consideration: Why did it have to be costumes?! and The Power to Hurt. (Those links take you to the voting pages for my posts – the submissions from other BlogHer members are here. If you’re a logged-in member of BlogHer and feel moved to do so, you can vote for any of the pieces you feel are good VOTY candidates.)
And so that’s done. And I feel as though, regardless of what happens now, I’ve already won. I struggled with ego, self-image, fear, and vulnerability… and I won.
And that’s all that really matters, isn’t it?
{ 18 comments… add one }
Congratulations on having the courage to do this! Both posts are great, but I especially love “The Power to Hurt.” That one really moved me when I read it. I think I’m a member of BlogHer, but if not, I’ll sign up so I can vote for you! Good luck!
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 25, 2014
Thank you so much for your support, Elaine – I really appreciate your friendship.
Laurel Regan recently posted… Mindful Writing Challenge January 2014: Small Stones 18-24
Twitter: carollistyle
January 25, 2014
Well done for submitting your 2 posts. At least you’ll now never regret not doing it
http://www.lifestyleandimage.co.uk
Carol recently posted… Introducing the Sarah Jessica Parker Greetings Cards, Stationery & Gift Wrap Collection from Hallmark
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 25, 2014
Thank you, Carol – you’re right!
Laurel Regan recently posted… Mindful Writing Challenge January 2014: Small Stones 18-24
Twitter: SunbonSmart
January 25, 2014
Good for Peter! Yes! Submit! And, you did. Good. Going to read and refresh myself on these posts, making sure, all the while, they are up to my standards for a VOTY vote. And, sigh, I am sure they will be. Happy for you. Even this soul searching post is a great one. HOW DO you do it? Much Love, Fondly, Robin
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 25, 2014
You are so sweet, Robin – thank you for your friendship and support. It means so much to me!
Laurel Regan recently posted… Mindful Writing Challenge January 2014: Small Stones 18-24
Twitter: easyhcgdiet
January 25, 2014
Hi, what a great post and a lesson to all of us.
This will be one of my mantras: “And so that’s done. And I feel as though, regardless of what happens now, I’ve already won. I struggled with ego, self-image, fear, and vulnerability… and I won.”
I will apply to when I am recording a video in the future. I must start soon for my product on blogging. In my marketing blog that has been my strumming block because even after living 35 years in England, I still have a foreign accent when speaking English.
I will do it like you did. Thank you!!!
Liliana Marsden recently posted… Eat more Strawberries for Health and Beauty
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 25, 2014
Thank you so much, Liliana – I am glad you got something from my post!
Twitter: Texasebeth
January 25, 2014
Yay! I submitted a post last year and even though I didn’t win I am glad I did. I need to think about what to submit this year.
Elizabeth recently posted… One Huge Scary Step Forward
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 25, 2014
Yes! I realized after I submitted my posts that really, the submitting was the most important part of the process. I’m glad I did too, and I wish you the best in whatever you decide to submit of your own!
Laurel Regan recently posted… Mindful Writing Challenge January 2014: Small Stones 18-24
Twitter: janie5010
January 26, 2014
Good for you. I entered for the first time last year. It was intimidated and nervous. But I did it anyway.
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 26, 2014
Thank you, Janie! It really is quite intimidating, but I’m glad I did it… and glad you did too!
Laurel Regan recently posted… Today’s Gratitude List – Linkup No. 14
Good for you. Your voice is unique and certainly worthy to be among the other applicants. As always, I admire your bravery.
Kimberley recently posted… English the Unruly Builds a Kingdom
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 26, 2014
Thank you so much – that means a lot to me.
Laurel Regan recently posted… Today’s Gratitude List – Linkup No. 14
Twitter: lyndalippin
January 26, 2014
Congratulations, Laurel! That is awesome that you overcame your resistance and submitted your posts. I am proud of you.
Lynda Lippin recently posted… Not Sleeping Well? How’s Your Mattress?
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 26, 2014
Thank you so much, Lynda! Much appreciated.
Laurel Regan recently posted… Today’s Gratitude List – Linkup No. 14
Twitter: anexpatinuk
January 27, 2014
Well done for submitting. That’s the only way to push yourself, learn and grow in confidence. No matter how far you make it, I agree, it is a win.
anexpatinuk recently posted… Superstar and Gratitude
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 27, 2014
Thank you very much! I’ll be totally fine if this is as far as it goes… because I really do feel as though I’ve won.
Laurel Regan recently posted… Putting on the pressure
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