Today began with a 4:30 a.m. wakeup (what, who needs more than four hours of sleep?!), was spent largely at the hospital, and will end when I head to bed just as soon as this is posted. It has been a long, wearisome period of waiting, reading, listening to various groups of loud, obnoxious people airing their political viewpoints for the whole room to hear, waiting, eating lousy cafeteria food, wishing I could sleep, waiting, worrying, being disappointed, waiting, feeling very alone, and being tremendously relieved to see my husband’s tired but smiling face.
He came through his first surgery successfully and is now sleeping in a ward (we’ve requested a semi-private room, but it depends on whether or not one comes available – if it does, he’ll be moved). His operation took an exceptionally long time because apparently the pin from his artificial hip was really embedded in the bone and took ages to pry loose. I haven’t seen the new wound, but apparently it’s quite significant.
The disappointment came when I met with the surgeon after the operation was complete. We hadn’t said anything to anyone apart from family, but we’d been told last week that there was a possibility that the surgery might be less invasive than we’d originally thought and might not require removal of his existing prosthesis – which would mean a much shorter recovery time and no second surgery. Which direction the surgeon took was entirely dependent on what he found when he went in. Unfortunately, he discovered that the infection was still present to the extent that he had no choice but to carry out the revision as originally planned.
It’s hard to maintain a balance between being hopeful and getting your hopes up. We may have erred too far in the wrong direction… thus, disappointment.
But I am relieved that the surgery was a success, and that even though he was incredibly tired when I left him he’d already made the nurses crack up several times with his offbeat sense of humour. (One of them said she was actually disappointed that her shift was ending – “I always have to leave when the fun patients come in!”)
As for me, I am done for the day and am heading to bed. Hopefully tomorrow, when I’ve had a chance to catch up on some much-needed sleep, I’ll be able to write something a little more coherent and upbeat!