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Pondering

Over the past while I’ve been pondering the time and energy I currently spend on the various components of my life – work, play, relationships, writing and blogging, other hobbies and interests… how much value and enjoyment and satisfaction I’m reaping in relation to the time and energy spent in each of those areas… what, exactly, I want to do and where I want to go in life, both immediately and long-term… the options and possibilities available to me… the limitations that hinder me… that sort of thing.

You know, no big deal. Just your basic mid-life question period.

There’s a part of me that is afraid to even admit to myself – let alone express in words, out loud – what I think I might want, for fear (hope?) of what might be set in motion. In some cases, I’m also trying to separate frustration and disappointment from reality and practicality so as not to blunder irreversibly into or out of something that might later bring regrets.

I want to make wise decisions and choose smart, profitable ways to invest my time, talents, and energy, and in many ways I feel as though I’m being gently guided onto a good (perhaps even exciting) path headed in a positive direction.

Yet the destination itself still seems somewhat out of focus, and the path littered with stumbling blocks and shiny objects.

Note to Self: Time. Patience. Faith.

Laurel Storey, CZT – Certified Zentangle Teacher. Writer, reader, tangler, iPhoneographer, cat herder, learner of French and Italian, crocheter, needle felter, on-and-off politics junkie, 80s music trivia freak, ongoing work in progress.

{ 4 comments… add one }
  • Sabrina January 25, 2012

    I’m happy you phrased these as mid life “questions”. I, just today, said I must be going through a mid life….well, you know. I can’t believe I’m here, where did the time go, what have I been doing with my life, how much time do I have left, I should be able to double time it from here on out, blah, blah, blah. ~ I think you have the formula for keeping me out of a straitjacket 🙂 Time.Patience.Faith.

    • Dawn January 25, 2012

      I hope the formula works for both of us!

  • Elise Davis January 26, 2012

    Oh, I yearn for a clear vision of what I’m doing. I don’t mind the nebulous stuff, but I LOVE when I can see the destination because then it’s so easy to make things happen. Yes – faith, patience and time are good things. And for myself, I think I need to do some good walks and some intentional thinking. Blech says that part of me that would rather just hang out and read blogs!

    • Dawn January 26, 2012

      Exactly – at least when you know where you’re heading you can do things to facilitate the process! Walks and intentional thinking sounds like a perfect plan, though.

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