Over the past while I’ve been pondering the time and energy I currently spend on the various components of my life – work, play, relationships, writing and blogging, other hobbies and interests… how much value and enjoyment and satisfaction I’m reaping in relation to the time and energy spent in each of those areas… what, exactly, I want to do and where I want to go in life, both immediately and long-term… the options and possibilities available to me… the limitations that hinder me… that sort of thing.
You know, no big deal. Just your basic mid-life question period.
There’s a part of me that is afraid to even admit to myself – let alone express in words, out loud – what I think I might want, for fear (hope?) of what might be set in motion. In some cases, I’m also trying to separate frustration and disappointment from reality and practicality so as not to blunder irreversibly into or out of something that might later bring regrets.
I want to make wise decisions and choose smart, profitable ways to invest my time, talents, and energy, and in many ways I feel as though I’m being gently guided onto a good (perhaps even exciting) path headed in a positive direction.
Yet the destination itself still seems somewhat out of focus, and the path littered with stumbling blocks and shiny objects.
Note to Self: Time. Patience. Faith.