When it comes to pursuing success, tackling persistent problems, or chasing dreams, I tend to take the eternally optimistic, keep on trying, “never never never give up” approach, believing that doggedly carrying on even in the face of struggles, roadblocks, or multiple failures WILL eventually lead to fulfillment of my goals.
Lately, though, I’ve been considering the possibility that perhaps this mindset might not actually be serving me well – that maybe, sometimes, it would be right and appropriate to consider whether giving up on something that just isn’t happening no matter how much time, effort, and energy is expended in its pursuit might be the wise decision. After all, giving up on one thing frees up one’s time, effort, and energy to devote to the pursuit of something else, the achievement of which may well end up being of more value.
But how do you decide whether it’s worth carrying on with something? How do you know when it’s time to give up? Or is sticking with the “never never never give up” attitude really the best way to go after all?
What do you think?
What makes you decide if and when it’s time to give up?
Please share!
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I don’t necessarily think “Never give up” is the best policy. If something is hurting more than helping, that is always a sign to throw in the towel. The challenge is determining whether your goal is something you no longer want to achieve or feel you can’t without causing harm (and this can be emotional, physical, whatever) to yourself, or whether it’s just negative voices in your head telling you can’t, that it’s too hard, etc. I think it all comes down to what you want to do and how much doing that thing is worth the struggle.
Kimberley recently posted… survival mode
Twitter: alphabetsalad
July 21, 2015
My problem is that I still desperately WANT to achieve my goals (I’m thinking of two biggies in particular), but either the changes I make never stick, or the efforts I make don’t end up paying off. Makes me start to wonder if maybe, no matter how much I might want them, they’re not meant to be.
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 47 – When do you finally give up?
Twitter: vinithadileep
July 20, 2015
I don’t know, Laurel. Lately, I am in such a dilemma, whether to give up or not, is it worth continuing to hold on to my dreams which seem to be illusions of an eccentric mind! I am not sure! History says, carry on. I might as well continue with not giving up!
Vinitha recently posted… time…
Twitter: alphabetsalad
July 21, 2015
I’m glad I’m not the only one who struggles with this sometimes!
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 47 – When do you finally give up?
I think the key might be — What is it I truly want in/for my life that X will give me? Can I achieve that another way? Have I already achieved it wholly or in part and just haven’t recognized the fact or given myself the credit? And like that.
Twitter: alphabetsalad
July 21, 2015
Good questions, Diane. Thanks.
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 47 – When do you finally give up?
Tough question to answer. I guess once you’ve weighed all the pros and cons and felt that it is a lost cause. Mostly I adopt the never ever give up policy.
Twitter: alphabetsalad
July 21, 2015
Lost cause – that’s a good phrase to describe it! Now the question is deciding when something IS a lost cause.
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 47 – When do you finally give up?
Twitter: BatteredHope
July 21, 2015
Considering the name of my blog and the name of my radio show are Never Ever Give Up Hope should tell you where I am coming from – LOL
There is a difference between giving up and changing direction. If it is a dream and we want to pursue it, then make it work. I started a new career at 65 – it is never too late.
Carol Graham recently posted… To Flash or Not to HOT Flash – That is the Question
Twitter: alphabetsalad
July 21, 2015
Thanks for the inspiration, Carol. Perhaps I’m just too impatient (it’s been known to happen before!). 🙂
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 47 – When do you finally give up?
Twitter: travelcraftjrnl
July 21, 2015
Ohhhh mannn, that is a tough one! I do believe there’s a time to move on or adapt goals and dreams, but I wish I knew when that point was! So hard to know whether to keep pushing on or take a different path.
Stephanie (Travelcraft Journal) recently posted… El Amor de Frida in a Phoenix Library
Twitter: alphabetsalad
July 21, 2015
I totally hear you! I wish there was something specific that told you when it was time to move on.
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 47 – When do you finally give up?
Twitter: parul2411
July 21, 2015
That’s a good one Laurel. Yes, not giving up is the right thing but we must also assess if the goal or the relevance has changed. No pint running after a goal which hold no value in the current scheme of things.
Parul recently posted… #MicroblogMondays – Bend or Break
Twitter: alphabetsalad
July 21, 2015
Very true indeed!
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 47 – When do you finally give up?
I really don’t know much about the time I decide to let go. But it happens. Though I try my best to give it my best. And then it feels like that’s how it was meant to be.
Rekha recently posted… Accepting Failure
Twitter: alphabetsalad
July 21, 2015
Yes, sometimes I think some things are just not meant to be.
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 47 – When do you finally give up?
Twitter: FranceneStanley
July 21, 2015
Oh, that’s a hard one, Laurel. I want to go on trying with an important endeavor until I fade away. And yet, it would allow me free time to do something more rewarding. I’m inclined to think it’s best to push on until the effort causes a bad effect.
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Twitter: alphabetsalad
July 21, 2015
Good point. Well, so far my efforts aren’t causing anything bad – really, they’re causing NOTHING (and that’s the problem)! So I suppose carrying on isn’t harming anyone.
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 47 – When do you finally give up?
Twitter: CorinneBlogs
July 21, 2015
I usually go back to the genesis of that dream – when was it planted – what does it say about me? Is there another way I can reach it? Will it completely crush my soul if I give up? What am I giving up to make this dream come true? Is it worth it? This process helps me to understand myself better and often I’ve made the effort to pursue the dream with great results.
I hope you work out what’s best for you, Laurel. I believe you will!
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted… Accepting Grace #MondayMusings #1000Speak
Twitter: alphabetsalad
July 21, 2015
Good questions, Corinne. Thank you – I will have to sit down and give this stuff some more thought.
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 47 – When do you finally give up?
Twitter: nabanita21
July 21, 2015
Oh it’s a really tough question Laurel..How does one know really?
For me it depends on what the goal at hand is…My state of mind and the other things I’m pursuing…Makes sense?
Twitter: alphabetsalad
July 21, 2015
Yes! It really does depend – there is no “one size fits all” answer, I think.
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 47 – When do you finally give up?
Laurel, I think it might depend on how much you really want it, how much passion you have for it, whether you feel it’s really the right thing for you. I’ve tried and given up on lots of things, but also persisted in things that meant a lot to me. I spent almost ten years getting my master’s degree so that I could start my own freelancing business. I’ve also been working on writing a novel for ten years (I do things in decades), but no matter how slow that’s going, I know I’m going to finish it some day because my heart is really in it. I hope you aren’t considering giving up your dream of being a CZT, because I know you’d be wonderful at that and you love it so much. In that case I would advise you to stay with it!
Twitter: alphabetsalad
July 22, 2015
Thank you for the inspiration and encouragement, Elaine! Perhaps I just need to learn a little patience.
Laurel Regan recently posted… Tangled Tuesday No. 53
I do quit things, usually without any regret. It’s a gut feeling I get — that something isn’t working and isn’t ever going to work, and even if it did, the journey hasn’t been enjoyable. Those things, I give up. But if the journey is bringing me happiness (or even if the hope is bringing me moments of happiness) I stick with it.
Mel recently posted… Everyone Was Once a Child
Twitter: alphabetsalad
July 22, 2015
I like that, about the hope bringing moments of happiness. Thank you.
Laurel Regan recently posted… Tangled Tuesday No. 53
Twitter: sanchlivinglife
July 22, 2015
Like with anything, I wouldn’t take this to the extreme. Sure, I think we should all try every possible way we can but once we’ve exhausted all our resources and still can’t find a solution, I think it’s ok to give up.
Twitter: alphabetsalad
July 22, 2015
That sounds wise – thank you. 🙂
Laurel Regan recently posted… Tangled Tuesday No. 53
Coming from an infertility background, I detest the “never give up” refrain. There are times when the most logical, most intelligent, most self-compassionate, and the very HARDEST thing to do is to give up.
Mali recently posted… Gifts of Infertility Series – #22 – Letting Go
Twitter: alphabetsalad
July 24, 2015
That is a very, very good point. Thank you for a new perspective.
Laurel Regan recently posted… Let’s Party!
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