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Dis-inspiration

After successfully completing four full months of NaBloPoMo – January through April of this year – I automatically and without much thought or consideration signed up for daily writing throughout the month of May as well.

Now I’m not so sure I should have done so.

I’ve noticed over the past while that I seem to find myself “stuck” on a sort of writing plateau. Inspiration strikes far less than it used to; my mind blanks far more than is comfortable. Discouragingly, tentative feelers and inquiries sent out hopefully to various places have produced no fruit, which chips away at my fragile confidence and makes me less inclined to move ahead bravely in another direction. In spite of my understanding that comparisons with others are deadly, I find myself doing so time and time again, and in each appraisal I come up short, my own abilities sadly lacking while others’ shine with promise.

Perhaps the well is drying up. Perhaps my dreams won’t come true. Perhaps the comparisons are valid.

Or perhaps it will be different tomorrow.

Laurel Regan – Writer, tangler, learner of French and Italian, crocheter, cat herder, needle felter, iPhoneographer, Growlita, iFan, on-and-off politics junkie, 80s music trivia freak, ongoing work in progress.

{ 16 comments… add one }

  • Julie Jordan Scott May 1, 2012

    Ohhh, honey. I know how it feels. I go there, too, sometimes and I know I feel much better when I simply write. (Please don’t punch me in the face for saying that!)

    Maybe tomorrow the Muse will return?

    Big hugs….
    Julie Jordan Scott recently posted… May You Be Blessed by #StoryaDay in May: Day 1 ~ The Mulberry Wars, 2012 EditionMy Profile

  • sandra tyler May 1, 2012

    You are brave to take on a new challenge ! I’m still recovering. I’m sure you’ll make it through though!
    sandra tyler recently posted… ONCE-UPON-A-TALE TUESDAY: Washing Gramma’s CarMy Profile

  • a.eye May 1, 2012

    I’m sure you will get back into it. You’ve been doing great the past months!
    a.eye recently posted… Playing teacherMy Profile

  • Elise May 2, 2012

    I vote for the last one “perhaps it will be a different tomorrow”!

    I seem to participate for a month and then take a month off. I haven’t officially signed up yet for this month because I really need the time to do other things I want to do, BUT I really like the ideas that come out of me once I find my rhythm.

    I think sticking with it like you’ve been doing is great and I’m a bit envious of the process you’re going through – even when it means you draw blanks.
    Elise recently posted… Attack of the AntsMy Profile

  • It’s odd, isn’t it. It’s like we know we might need a little break, but are compelled to continue on. For myself, I’m taking off the weekends, because everything, EVERYTHING works better if you take a reasonable rest from it. Pics on the weekends, here.
    margaret christine perkins recently posted… road trip! historic french legation museumMy Profile

    • Laurel Regan
      Twitter:
      May 2, 2012

      Great idea! I’m actually finding that my herb garden pics (though not remotely good in and of themselves) are providing me with a nice break from the usual but still keeping me writing/posting.
      Laurel Regan recently posted… Committing HerbicideMy Profile

    • Sabrina May 4, 2012

      Great idea to take a break on the weekends. I feel like, now that I’ve proven I can do it, it’s time to add more structure/purpose behind it.
      Sabrina recently posted… Focus on you for a momentMy Profile

      • Laurel Regan
        Twitter:
        May 4, 2012

        I like it too. Besides, I find weekends don’t really draw much in the way of readership, so anything substantial often gets missed if it’s posted on the weekend! I think I’ll try taking a break on weekends if I’m feeling uninspired – not necessarily not posting at all, but posting something lighter.
        Laurel Regan recently posted… New York, New YorkMy Profile

  • Sabrina May 3, 2012

    I understand having a loss of words and, for me, it happens when I start thinking I have to write something great. You know, when I’m in my head. Too much head or too much heart and I’m dead in the water. I can’t think of words, I have multiple first paragraphs and nothing makes it out of draft. Just to feel productive and get pity for my failed attempts, I sometimes want to write all that I attempted to do. I put up a really good fight but still can’t manage to land a punch.

    OK…I say all that to say, I understand. I think I’ll start taking advantage of BlogHer’s prompts when I’m dis-inspired (like they were intended:)). There are so many, who’s to say we have to stick with the monthly theme. I know they work and, like you said, I don’t know why we don’t stick to what works.

    The muse will return..I promise!
    Sabrina recently posted… Focus on you for a momentMy Profile

    • Laurel Regan
      Twitter:
      May 4, 2012

      I hope it does! It really is frustrating when you love doing something, and WANT to do it, but for whatever reason struggle to produce. The BlogHer prompt idea is a good one – I’ll have to remember that.
      Laurel Regan recently posted… No spelunking for me!My Profile

  • Susan
    Twitter:
    May 6, 2012

    I’ve never participated in NaBloPoMo. I’m too busy with other writing assignments. But I do understand what it feels like when the well is dry. I have that happen to me all the time. That’s when I have to walk away and take a break.
    Susan recently posted… Announcement & Thank YouMy Profile

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