I‘ve been stewing about something for quite some time now – a couple of months, at least. Oh, I haven’t been thinking about it every minute of every day – but it’s always there in the back of my mind, nagging at me, reminding me that I need to deal with it and make a decision already. So this week, finally, I did.
I have decided NOT to attend BlogHer ’15 this summer.
This may not sound like a big thing to you, but it is momentous for me. See, I’ve managed to find the money to attend the conferences for the past three years, and was greatly anticipating this next one (especially since it’s going to be held in one of my favourite places, New York City). And short of buying my ticket and booking a hotel room, I’d committed to going – to my roommate, to other friends, and to myself.
But 2014 was a very expensive year for us. If you’ve been following Alphabet Salad for awhile you might remember that over the past months we made some large (to us) household purchases… we had some unexpected expenses… I took a costly flight to San Jose for BlogHer ’14… and, perhaps most importantly, I didn’t receive a significant sum of money that (based on precedent) I’d both expected and counted on. All of this added up to the knowledge that funding my attendance at BlogHer ’15 was unlikely, if not impossible… yet I’ve been reluctant to admit it to myself and make the final call.
But the deadline for early bird conference tickets is fast approaching, the hotel block isn’t going to last forever, and the last thing I want to do is to leave my roommate in the lurch by springing the news on her when it would be too late for her to make other plans… so I knew that I needed to bite the bullet and make a final decision, NOW.
And so I did. And I’m not going to go.

I’m struggling with disappointment, feelings of failure, and the knowledge that I’ll be missing an opportunity to make connections that will help me take my blog to the next level. I’m heartbroken that I won’t be able to spend time with my lovely roommate for the fourth year in a row, or catch up with all the friends I’ve made at previous conferences. And I’m already feeling left out because I won’t be there to take part in what promises to be an amazing event.
I know that I’ve made the right decision.
But that doesn’t make it any easier to handle.
Have you had to make a similar decision?
Please share!

I’m so sorry, Laurel, that you can’t go this year. I know how much you enjoy these things because I’ve been following along and read your write-ups about them every year. I hope things work out so you can go next year. *hug*
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 19, 2015
Thanks, Cheryl – I appreciate your understanding.
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 21 – Sans maquillage
Twitter: Wordwrights, Ink
January 17, 2015
I totally understand. I’m sitting in the same (financially strapped) boat.
Diane recently posted… And Then There Were Trees
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 19, 2015
Thanks, Diane. Not so fun, is it? 🙁
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 21 – Sans maquillage
Twitter: BatteredHope
January 17, 2015
HEAR YOU – loud and very clear. It is never easy to make these kinds of decisions and my word of advice whenever someone asks my opinion is Don’t let emotion make the decision for you.” You didn’t and that is why it is the right decision. You based your decision on fact.
I have to make these decisions more often than I would like because my husband is disabled and has more bad days than good ones. It affects my life in every area and for that reason, I have to figure out what and when I will do certain things. I thought about going to the conference as well and have been pressured by friends to attend — but my head tells me it is not wise. Sure, you feel discouraged for a moment but knowing you made the right decision carries a lot of weight. Good for you!
Carol Graham recently posted… Do You Believe In Fate?
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 19, 2015
Thanks, Carol! I do feel good about my decision, even though I’m very disappointed that I won’t be able to attend.
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 21 – Sans maquillage
Twitter: RamblinGarden
January 17, 2015
You thought this over carefully and you know you made the right decision. Of course, you have regrets. We always do because life is rarely black and white. For you, I hope life permits you to attend BlogHer ’16. I never quite had to make a decision like you did. But, in 2013, I was deeply disappointed I could not attend the 150th anniversary of the Battle of Gettysburg (the most major battle,perhaps, of the U.S. Civil War). I had already taken the time off from work but couldn’t find a place to stay. But, at the last minute, I was able to visit a dear friend living some 5 hours from me, who was seriously ill. The next time I was able to visit her, she was too ill to see me and it may be a long while before I can see her again. So having that time free turned out to be a great blessing. I hope something good ends up replacing BlogHer ’15 for you, Laurel.
Alana recently posted… Local Saturday – Green Eggs and Maybe Ham
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 19, 2015
Thanks so much, Alana. I appreciate the understanding. 🙂
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 21 – Sans maquillage
I know that was a tough decision, but you did what’s right for you, right now. That’s even more important.
I won’t be going again this year, but I’m sure hopeful I can go at least once….
Life Breath Present recently posted… Launching….
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 19, 2015
I hope some day we can meet up there! 🙂
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 21 – Sans maquillage
Twitter: knottymarie
January 17, 2015
When you’ve been an active participant in events such as this, it is always a very difficult decision to make. Perhaps you will find another event to take it’s place – one that doesnt cost as much to attend.
Mary Burris recently posted… Blame Canada Series: Day 7
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 19, 2015
That would be nice! I do hope so.
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 21 – Sans maquillage
Twitter: shilpaagarg
January 17, 2015
I can understand your situation. Happens to all of us. We have to take some tough and hard decisions based on our circumstances. It’s all about weighing the pros and cons and taking a decision without regrets and you did just that! Hope something more satisfying and enriching works out for you! Cheers 🙂
Shilpa Garg recently posted… Never-Ending Winter
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 19, 2015
Thank you – I hope so! 🙂
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 21 – Sans maquillage
I know that you are disappointed, but I do think that when something doesn’t come through, there’s a reason, and it might be in your own back door. I have just joined a new writing group and it is like an injection of creativity. Why not explore what opportunities you have in your city. If nothing else it is always fun to be a tourist in your own town, do some exploring, I bet you’ll find a lot to post about.
marika recently posted… a-MUSE-ing
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 19, 2015
Great ideas, Marika – thank you. 🙂
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 21 – Sans maquillage
Twitter: judiboomergirl
January 18, 2015
I hear you. I am going because BlogHer’15 is nearby in NYC but if it was on the west coast I would not be going. I’m not staying at a hotel either due to the costs. Conferences get expensive and you have to pick and choose. I know it is hard to do.
Judy Freedman recently posted… Take Me Back To Warm Miami
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 19, 2015
They really do get expensive – worth it, but pricey. Hope you enjoy your time there!
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 21 – Sans maquillage
I’ve never been to BlogHer but I heard amazing things about it. I wish I could go to experience it in NYC, my hometown. I can imagine how you must feel. I have to agree with the comments above. In these kinds of situations, thinking with your head is crucial.
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 19, 2015
It really is a great experience, and I’m grateful that I got to attend for three years in a row. Hopefully I’ll be back in 2016!
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 21 – Sans maquillage
Twitter: indywrites
January 18, 2015
Such a difficult decision to make. Hope it works out.
We all face this sometimes.
All the best.
Inderpreet recently posted… Snap Your Week 3
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 19, 2015
Thanks for understanding. 🙂
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 21 – Sans maquillage
Twitter: luxganzon
January 18, 2015
Laurel, I can so relate to you so yes I totally understand.
I’m sorry though that you have to make a tough decision and stick to what you feel is right. I’d like to say all thing happen with a purpose but I know you already know that.It’s normal to feel bad though. Allow yourself to feel it, besides it’s just temporary.
I hope you’ll get a second chance next time. Wish you all the best.
Lux Ganzon recently posted… 4 Ways To Silence Your Own Critic
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 19, 2015
I hope so too. Thank you so much for your kind words. 🙂
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 21 – Sans maquillage
Twitter: ellytreehugger
January 18, 2015
That’s such a shame and disappointment for you Laurel: sorry to hear! I hope that something else just as promising or even better shows up for you. This is something that we all face at one time or another and it is only in hindsight, after the fact/event, that we may understand and realize why. I hope you are able to come to that realization sooner rather than later. In the meantime, know you have dedicated faithful followers who love your blog posts! 🙂 <3
elly stornebrink recently posted… Gratitude List #1
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 19, 2015
Thank you so much, Elly – much appreciated! 🙂
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 21 – Sans maquillage
Laurel, I’m so sorry. I can understand how disappointed you are, and I’m sure there are many who will miss your presence. I hope now that you’ve finalized your decision, at least your stress (if not your disappointment ) has lessened.
Sammy D recently posted… Cadence Meets Keyboard in 2015
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 19, 2015
I’m starting to feel better now – still disappointed, but resigned. 🙂
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 21 – Sans maquillage
Twitter: black tortoise.com
January 19, 2015
I cannot see my way to finance the way this year either. It would be my sixth time. Instead, I’m going to BAM in Nashville. A little less expensive, a little smaller, and perhaps a little more nourishing. I will miss BlogHer 15. I know I will. Last year, I purchased a second hand ticket, got a roommate, and justified the plane fare with a last minute windfall. Could happen again.
Then again, I decided this month that I must focus more on getting my book published. Sometimes we must let the familiar go in order to reach for the next opportunity.
Adela recently posted… Gratitude Monday #62
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 19, 2015
So glad you have the opportunity to attend something else – I hope you have a wonderful time! And how did we not meet at BlogHer ’14?!
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 21 – Sans maquillage
Twitter: jpage_manuel
January 19, 2015
So sorry, Laurel. I can feel your disappointment but also know that this is what you feel as the wisest decision for now. I’ve signed up for the BAM and it will be my very first blog conference EVER. Honestly, if I only factor in earnings from my writing, I really shouldn’t go because I can’t afford it. But my husband encouraged me, just to break out of my shell and try it even just once. I figured it’s a smaller group and might not be too shocking for an introvert like me. So I’ll go. However, I also know that for next time, I really should be more practical and think of how the finances are balancing (the money I’m getting / earning myself vs. what I’m spending for my blogging). We all need to be practical, right? 🙂
Joy recently posted… It’s Not Just a Confession
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 19, 2015
Oh, I’m so glad you get to go to the BAM conference – great idea, and I hope you have a wonderful time!
Laurel Regan recently posted… #MicroblogMondays 21 – Sans maquillage
Laurel, I can undertand your feelings. Such things happen. We have no control on them. Just leave thoughts of going. You will better.
Twitter: alphabetsalad
January 27, 2015
Thank you for understanding. 🙂
Laurel Regan recently posted… Tangled Tuesday No. 38
Twitter: gottgreen
July 19, 2015
Hi Laurel! Sorry you had to miss Blogher this year. I’ll bet all of us have one or another things that we wish we could do (or have done) but as you say, remembering what we are grateful for is one sure way to turn our thoughts around. Me? Right now I’m grateful I was able to get out and take a walk/hike with my husband and dog this morning before the afternoon shower. 🙂 Life is good! ~Kathy
Kathy recently posted… Midlife Desperateâ5 Ways to Cope With Life At This Stage
Twitter: alphabetsalad
July 20, 2015
Sounds like perfect timing! 🙂
Laurel Regan recently posted… Today’s Gratitude List + July 2015 Gratitude Linkup
Twitter: blogqueendiane
July 19, 2015
I just came back from BlogHer15 — my first blogging conference– and wrote a blog post about what it cost for a frugal person to go, which I thought might be helpful to other people. It wasn’t cheap, but it was a very cool experience! If I can save about $3 a day during the next year, I can probably go back.
Twitter: alphabetsalad
July 20, 2015
It is quite expensive, but I think it’s definitely worth the money!
Laurel Regan recently posted… Today’s Gratitude List + July 2015 Gratitude Linkup
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