There is this one particular project hanging over my head that I need to tackle – desperately need to tackle, actually – yet for whatever reason I’ve been sitting on it for months and haven’t been able to get going.
The project? My freelance company’s new web site/blog.
The problem? I am at a total loss as to where to begin.
Beginnings are hard.
The thing is, until I begin this project, I won’t be able to complete it. And until I complete it, I won’t be able to move forward with my new business to any degree of success.
And I WANT to make my new business a success.
So I NEED to begin.
I’ve been wrestling with this for awhile now. I reserved the domain name sometime around the beginning of the year, intending to get my site set up right away. That didn’t happen. Time passed, and my next target was to have it set up before I attended BlogHer ’12 in August. Surely that would be motivation enough, right? Yet though I optimistically had the web site address printed on the cards I planned to hand out at the conference, that target wasn’t met either.
I make half-hearted attempts at it now and then. I venture over to the site with vague ideas of getting the thing up and running, but am quickly discouraged when what should be a visually dynamic and appealing page mocks me with its generic undeveloped blankness.
I could wander down a road of psycho-babble and say that perhaps I am afraid of getting my business up and running, which leads to the hesitation to start and finish its web site – but in reality, I think my biggest problem is simply that I am not a graphic designer and lack any sort of inspiration in terms of the look and feel I would like to present. Sure, I’m happy with how this blog has evolved over the past year or so – and have in fact received compliments on its look – but I feel as though while I lucked into a convenient and easily-developable theme for Alphabet Salad, I am wandering in the wilderness when it comes to beginning to set up a new site from scratch.
Today I got a little further than I have in the past: I deleted all the old files, reinstalled WordPress, then installed the brand-spanking-new Thesis theme.
And then I blanked.
When it comes to this project – both the new site and my new company, for that matter – I feel as though I am perpetually in the beginning stages, unable to move forward and get past this block. It is very, very frustrating.
Written for GBE 2: Blog On -
WEEK #77 (11-4-12 to 11-10-12): Beginnings