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A look in the mirror

Yesterday I took myself and a Christmas gift card to a clothing store in search of something to carry me through this “not exactly winter but not quite spring” weather Windsor has surprised me with.

While browsing the racks of clothing I turned and caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror.

I looked ridiculous!

I was wearing the jeans I always wear (despite the fact that I’ve lost enough weight that I can now pull them off without undoing the button or zipper) and a big baggy corduroy shirt (which I’ve always loved because of its vibrant red colour, but which I’m not sure I’ll ever wear again because of how swamped I looked in it).

I knew that this particular pair of jeans fit poorly, as I always have to hike them up so I don’t trip on them… and I knew that the shirt was becoming a bit too comfortable… but I never realized just how silly they looked, or rather, how silly I looked wearing them, until I saw that fleeting mirror image.

So I bought myself a new top (two sizes smaller than usual!), and vowed to send all of the “too bigs” in my closet to a better place.

I also realized that it’s high time we acquired a full-length mirror for our home!

You know, I think my brain short-circuits when I gain a lot of weight. I know that no matter what size one might be, wearing an outfit that fits properly is far more flattering than hiding behind oversized baggy garments – yet for me, the protective instinct to hide beneath volumes of fabric grows stronger and stronger as the weight creeps higher and higher.

I think some re-wiring may well have taken place, however, via that one quick, horrific glance in the store mirror. No more hiding!

I wore my new top today – the one that actually fits – and I felt fabulous! As an extra bonus, much to my delight, I was also able to wear my wedding ring and my engagement ring, both of which have been hanging on a silver necklace for far longer than I’m comfortable calculating.

This is me – this is what happens – when I am happy.

Onwards and downwards.

Laurel Storey, CZT – Certified Zentangle Teacher. Writer, reader, tangler, iPhoneographer, cat herder, learner of French and Italian, crocheter, needle felter, on-and-off politics junkie, 80s music trivia freak, ongoing work in progress.

{ 12 comments… add one }
  • k~ March 11, 2012

    I say YAY to the full-length mirror, no matter what size the clothing is that you are taking a peek at. I sure understand that covering in layers of baggy though, “as the weight creeps up” uh huh, I’ve been back and forth from tiny to tubby most of my adult life, and the mirror, won’t always tell me how I feel, but it will give me a starting point for moving in a direction of comfort with the way I look.
    k~ recently posted… An Unfit MindMy Profile

  • Elise Davis March 11, 2012

    That “glimpse” in the mirror can be so powerful. How great yours was to be on the side of the clothing too big! We don’t have a full length mirror, but I think it would be a good thing – good to just see ourselves as we are day to day so that we just accept and enjoy who we are (and maybe get a bit of a reminder when a change of wardrobe wouldn’t hurt).
    Elise Davis recently posted… “I use protection. I’m on the Pill.”My Profile

    • Dawn
      March 11, 2012

      I’m glad the glimpse was on the “too big” side of things, that’s for sure! And I definitely need to get a mirror, for the reasons you say.
      Dawn recently posted… A look in the mirrorMy Profile

  • margaret christine
    March 11, 2012

    Thank you so much for sharing about what is a little scary for so many of us, body image. Those glimpses can be powerful–the realization of what we think of our bodies in comparison to the reality of them. You got a glimpse of how much thinner you were, and how much you were just ‘covering up’. I am the worst about getting the biggest thing on the rack and never looking further.

    • Dawn
      March 11, 2012

      Body image is a complex thing, isn’t it? And I’m the same – instead of trying to get the smallest size possible, I always assume I’ll need the largest (whether or not that’s actually the case). I really need to get in touch with this stuff!
      Dawn recently posted… A look in the mirrorMy Profile

  • Jenn March 12, 2012

    I’m with you on this one!! I have lost a bit of weight and I’m continuing to lose–and also caught myself in a store mirror the other day ‘swimming’ in clothes way too big for me. Unlike you, I didn’t do anything about it. So I still have the baggy clothes. I keep promising myself that I will buy something proper when I’m done losing my weight. Until then–I’ll settle for ridiculous! (And buy myself time to save up!) Cheers, Jenn
    Jenn recently posted… Words From the HeartMy Profile

    • Dawn
      March 12, 2012

      I’m lucky in that I have a whole bunch of clothes from my sister that ALMOST fit now, so I have a wardrobe waiting for me when I lose just a little bit more!
      Dawn recently posted… Stealing our sunshineMy Profile

  • cooking lady March 12, 2012

    Congrats on the weight loss. Now, that I think about it, I need to go buy a mirror too. Thanks for sharing and reminding me!
    cooking lady recently posted… Mom’s Little Tin BoxMy Profile

  • Sabrina March 13, 2012

    WooHoo! I’m so proud of you and, yes, those full length mirrors are wonderful…especially when you’re falling in love with yourself.
    Sabrina recently posted… The True Cost for ConvenienceMy Profile


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